Oh I am broken heart , I am just a mess that only you know God. I am crying out to you. I heard and know that you are the God of universe . Why your universe; you just made it hurting me? Your image human killing and slaving each other for power for nothing! I kneel before you and humbly asking to guide me and direct me toward the real truth that you only know!
Is this fair? give some more grace , give some less! I know there is no question on your sovereignty. I know you are mighty and you are presence in the time of need. But Jesus look at around! When your heart-followers are waiting for your return. But you are counting are days less to your days. I am asking till that day let your kingdom come. I am asking to fill my thirsty soul of your presence. I am human . I have doubt . I have fear and feelings. I have ambition. You called me child of light. But how come my light hardly brightening on my own way. You called me to be salt of this world . But how can i be when myself have no salt to offer. I humbly want you to be near to me. I kindly want you to lead me to a place that i can stay with you forever. Which there is no tears and sorrows.
You said when you are weak than you are strong ! but let not stuck or die in my weaknesses and let not enemy abuse it for nothing. Than I can come to you and ask for your grateful love and mercy forever. I am weak and faint-heart . I make mistakes terribly. My enemies were waiting for those moments that they could take advantage . My eyes were always above but my heart still was beating- fast!
I know you are going deeply down and down and may nobody ever understands you in anyway. One inch , Only one inch close to completely fall you down. But wait! can you trust me? I did not want you to be in this situation nor want to test how strong you are. Can you trust me even in your worst time?
I put my love in you. No doubt that i would never stop loving you. Even you see me millions of kilometers away; I am so close to you. My heart is in you. I am in love with you. Just wait for me. I did not send my begotten son from my arm to you because put burden on you. My Jesus came to take your heavy lift on himself. When you are still weak , I am there for you. When you have been still in sin ; I came for you. Can you trust me for your future plan? Can you leave it to me and i am going to think about it? Can you hold on my hand? I have great things to show you!
Do you know how hungry i am to see your face every time you come to me? I want to walk with you , you are my holy one. I am chosen you to be with you. I am so proud of you. My dear kid , look at my son Jesus.
I died for you so you can live for me!
I accepted your shame and condemnation that you can live free. I reconciled you with Father that you can go to His presence. I give you peace , love , trust and grace to handle it. obedience is a process. Obey me and i show you more. My love is never change toward you. I want you to know , your feelings , your outward physical world not going to change my mind and heart for you.I want you to know , I am here for you. I fight for you , just follow me. Look at me. focus on me and walk on the water of your storm of life. Pray in my presence. Trust me. You will find me right i stand for you. Come to me and I heal you and i mend all your bonds . I breath a fresh new of me in you. You were and you are always in my heart every moment.
I’ll meet you in prayer spot!
Written By Dariush Youkhaneh
( I wrote this for those who are struggling to be honest with themselves and God , It does not matter how hard is. Be honest to yourself and God )